i hate the world!!

how i wish 2012 is now! i wanna go heaven as soon as possible.. i dun like this..

why? why? why? why? yes.. i look strong outside but i have a weak heart, just one touch and it will break into pieces. why? yes.. i like to act but doesnt mean i m a liar. yes. i like to joke but doesnt mean i m childish. yea. i like to laugh but doesnt mean that i m okay with everything. i hate wearing mask... why?. why? why cant u guys treat me better? am i really that bad? do u guys know me well? i hate gossips!! being self centered, pride, gossips bring u no where but DEATH!!!

i am tired.. who am i to u all? who am i? who am i? i hate myself for being a clown.

I'M BACK!!

emo jer...

me and my (MAID) dana.. haha

yo ipoh mali ipoh ipoh mali.

ladies and gentlemen... i am BACK!! phew...

there are thousands and millions things need to express from my heart.

FIRST.. busy busy busy but now free..

i am kind of busy this sem cause its short sem but i m kind of free too..

gosh... what am i talking? haha.. what i mean is i m busy when i m very busy.

i am free when i m very free. =.=

SECOND.. Friend + Family= LOVE

yea.. finally i am awake.. nothing is more important than family and friends.

i found that i am tired with couple love or get in a relationship.

because it is complicated and stress.

haha where u let someone to control over you bla bla bla..

come on, who says u only can get love from couple..

well, i think i m blessed because i have a bunch of friends and lovely family

to give me love. although i have bitterness in my past but i think God plant joy and hope in

my heart.. soon i will have a big family in my house.

yes!! we will cook, lepak, study together..

THIRD.. JESUS I LOVE YOU

well, i m kinda guilty because i m not attending church for almost 2 months.

nor pray or read the bible.. i m totally out of my Christian life.. but i know that

God is still with me and blessed me and i love Him too.. i promise i will get back to him soon.. muacckss.. XOXO

_THE END_

going back to PJ.

i am sorry for being emo these days.. i know some of you do care bout me.. thanks a lot.. you guys do cheer me up sometimes.. i think i am the one who causing myself to be like this, because i cant find the way to express my true self.. i am used to be alone in the olden days.. i m glad to see Ruth comment.. thanks girl.. you are so sweet.. i love you too.. well, all i can say is everyone has their own problem.. no matter how life still needs to go on.. so do i.. i m still trying and struggling to find a way to express myself.. haizz... it takes so long..

finally today i get my result.. well, is not that good and not that bad.. kinda average.. of course i would to get a higher mark, but i had done my best.. so thank God too, for blessing me.. i would to thanks all my assignment course mate.. without their hard work i wont get such a good result.. thanks guys... love you all... well.. all i need is just some time i guess.. kinda tired to communicate here.. aikss.. elaine ar elaine~~

you care?

anyone of you care how i feel? what i am doing? whats my problem recently? am i healthy?

or all of you are busy with your own issue.. how you feel, what problems are you facing, how sad are you and so on.. anyone of you take the initiative to concern bout me? to pick me up when i am down, to set me free when i am struggling, to stand on my side.. mostly my daily routine is to.. help this to solve problem.. help that to do their orders.. get judge by them.. i m sorry.. i am trying to be patience but i really cant stand it anymore.. some of you may think that i am seeking attention.. because in your eyes i am always an attention seeker.. i have changed but no one notice.. can anyone of you stand on my side and think for me.. things that is best for you doesnt mean its going to be best for me..i have my own way, but did i get a chance to do it my way? i am losing my confident.. you guys do not help me to be cleared for what i want but causing me to be lost and confused.. first..... i loose my confident... second i don't know what i want, third i have lost myself.. and now i don't know who i am.. sometimes.. i prefer to stay in a room ALONE.. rather than going out and social.. when there is only me alone.. i found the freedom.. i am stressed to be someone's yeeling.. i want to be my own yeeling.. i miss you yeeling.. my soul, please come back to me... dont leave me hanging in the dead city... i m dead.... yea.. i am smiling but deep down i am bleeding..

my inspiration..

十分爱我你曾经说过，

可是现在你却不爱我，

爱我其实是否你的错。

说过会陪我渡过生活，

可是你却忍心丢下我，

孤独一人在寂寞角落，

还叫我别难过。

going back to IPOH..

hurayyyy!!! tomorrow i am going back to ipoh, the place where i belong..

i m going to celebrate my mum's birthday... arghhh.. October.. the month that both of my parents birthday.. haha.. i would like to announce i am BROKE!! haha.. i dunno how and when i spend all my my money.. OMG!! i need money... aikss.. i m kinda confused and lost these days.. i dunno what i want.. there is something missing but.. i dunno what is it.. arghh.. my dad had moved to kl.. and we spend almost everyday during the week.. driving around pj kl bangsar and so on.. haha.. i miss all my dearest friends.. i feel kinda lonely when its night.. nobody is here for me.. i am all home alone..

ish.... watch all sort of drama series and so on.. i m taking my muet test next next week.. i hope that i can manage to pass this.... hmmmmm...........

sem break!!

yea~~~ sem break!! i should be happy for sem break but i dont...

i feel sad and boring.. i don't like sem break.. i m lost during sem break. dunno what to do..

life is so boring.. i miss all my hotel kaki.. i miss all my friends.. owhhhh... i miss soo many things.. and guess what i am going to learn BAHASA TAMIL in sem 2!! uh hu~~ i am true Malaysian.. haha.. i m used to my busy life and sud i become so free.. arghh not used to it.. i miss my kam lan the most.. so many things to tell her... i miss everyone of you.. somebody call 911.. i m so boring.. come on!! Daddy's birthday is coming soon....

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

FRUSTRATED!!

i cant stand it anymore.. she always spoiled my mood.. she always control over me..

whatever i do or plan to do.. she will COMPLAIN! whatever i tease my friend she wanna care also.. arghhh... she is testing my patience.. i m trying to be patience for so long.. i know she want me to grow and learn to be helpful.. I AM LEARNING!! AND I LEARNED TO BE TOO.. IS JUST YOU ARE HAVING THIS DISCRIMINATION THAT I HAVEN CHANGED... everyone here has a discrimination over me.. that i am FAT! LAZY! STUPID! IMMATURE! well don't judge me if you don't know me.. i had changed.. sometimes before judging someone is good to see whether are you perfect enough to judge someone.. thats why i never judge anyone of you for so long.. don't make me start it!! i respected all of you so respect me too.. if not i don't know to stay.. THATS ALL..

monster!!

Outing!!

i love this=) thx to ruth..

thanks Ruth!!

my finger=)

music = my life

goodbye sem 1~

Alvin please dont go...

me and alvin ( the man behind me)

me and my papa ( cha cha)

me and superstar (Elvis)

BC2 kopitiam

time flies.. its time to say goodbye to BC2.. although we will be in diff class next sem, you all are forever in my heart. heart you=) especially Alvin.. the man behind me.. i will miss you.. how i wish i manage to influence you for making u stay.. you still have a chance.. dun go pls... you are our best friend. and we do cherish every thing that u did for us... without you, my life wont be perfect anymore. nobody will cook leong sui for me adi. nobody will paint my wall, mop my floor.. sad=(

well, i am sorry if i ever hurted anyone before during this sem. i know i m a lazy bump for this sem. i am sorry for not being responsible for my assignment.. i am sorry and i will change.. please give me one more chance=) and thanks to those who admire me.. haha.. i am not that great act... i am just doing what i like to do... hehe... i know i m noisy sometimes.. sorry ya.. well i am glad that u guys have fun during class=) hehe.. thanks for giving me the best COMEDIAN award... haha..

thanks for showing me that i am special.. hehe.. and every single one of you are special in my eyes too.. thank you.. heart you all=) muackksss

MERDEKA!!

Pity Tat..

HISTORY MAKERS!!

AKU DENGAN KAMLAN KU..

TANGGAL TIGA PULUH SATU.. BULAN LAPAN.. LIMA PULUH TUJUH!! MERDEKA MERDEKA TETAPLAH MERDEKA!! happy merdeka friends=) well, i spend my merdeka in the highway=( we went to PD this weekend~~ uhhu~~ me n my kamlan were insane during the journey back to KL we are damn patriotik.. haha.. we sang lots of song.. (kamlan is tone deaf).. haha.. ~i got a feeling~ hehe.. well. i m moving soon!! yea.. i found someone to rent my room d.. thank God.. everything runs so smoothly.. really need to thank Him a lot.. my new room gotta be great with Alvin help=) yippie there will be water heater and bathroom attached.. syoikk.. hehe.. my sem 1 is going to end=( n we may not meet each other that often next sem.. i m going to miss al my friends and especially you.. i know we been through a lot of arguement and stuff.. but u are still my best friend.. cause i know u care bout me a lot.. thank you BC2!! i m

Relationships are complicated.

i admit last time i treat relationship as very important, because i seek love from it. but now i had changed because i found a better place to seek love which is seek God love. now i can see that many ppl have suffer a lot from relationship failure or broken relationship. couple argue with each other, ppl cant get the one that they love. wake up my friend is these very important? i am nt saying that they are not important but face the fact there are still a lot of things to be done in this world. stop letting relationship to conquer ur life.. stop sitting on the floor and complain how bad ur life is or complain how sad are u how hurt are u but STAND UP and do something meaningful.. there are lots of things that need to be solved these days. stop just giving love to ur love one, give some to ppl who NEED love. i learned something from jessica. she has the sympathetic towards anyone. she is a love giver.. haha a bit over right? but last week she did something which i admire a lot. normally when there is a begger we will try to avoid or just ignore them, admit it k.. haha..but for jessica is diff. she will buy food for them=) she brought a rm5 bread to the begger. others may think that she is stupid. but i think she is right. when we are spending our love or money to someone that dun need it, we will think that it is worth, but when we are spending our love and money to ppl that NEED it. we will complain or feel regret.. aikss.. so friend listen to me.. there are a lot of needs out there, stop locking urself in the comfort zone bt walk out and u will see a lot of things.. =)

i can make it through the rain=)

having dinner with mr Luqman=)

homecook maggie mee.. i cooked for Joy and she dun like it=(

i can stand up once again.. although i have tons of problem, i will not give up nor complaint

cause this is part of life=) Life goes up and down. somehow i have a bunch of friends and family as my piller of strength to support me. but the most powerful is i have God to give me strength..

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHEN ME=) although i loose a lot of things i can gain HIM back.. once again we are close again.. i love You You love me.. You are my true love the one who can give me unconditional love. I LOVE YOU.. thanks for doing so many things for me as i am not worth it to recieve it. thank you God. i love You Jesus...

haha.. well, life isn't that hard. come on be positive.. have a PEACE mind and everything will be settled easily..

well, i m kinda busy nowadays.. moving out.. assignments presentation.. and more.. but i am happy with my life.. cause i know i wll learn from all these.. although a lot of unhappy things to me recently, i knew it.. Elaine Loh can make it through the rain and once again i will see the rainbow.. and having flash back that how brave am i.. hehe.. well, i am still in the process but i know things going to end soon...

i am gald to have you all as my family.. HISTORY MAKERS! my KL family.. thx to jeslyn, joy, jessica.. all my sisters who are always there to make me stand again.. i love you gals.. hehe.. of course i love you guys too BC students.. haha.. act come to think of it i am so blessed to have you guys in my life.. hehe..

my life=)

in the telephone box while its raining..

piao ying, me and kamlan=)

my cool pen=)

me in genting

these few days i felt hard to breath and having heartache, well dont worry, i am not having any sickness, i m just having stress.. while i am having stress i have a lot of fun these days. wakaka..

i have been to genting with my kam lan=) back to ipoh.. AND GUESS WHAT? I JOINED REXONA K QUEEN.. do vote for me www.rexona.com.my (loh yee ling)

haha..well, although i have a lot of mountains in my life but i m not goin to let them tear me down.

i am going to make it through.. cause as time goes by, i will learn from every mountain.

i am going to train up to be a better person. please wait for a better elaine to be born.. wakakaka..

THE CLIMB

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep goingAnd I,

I got to be strongJust keep pushing on'

Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving,

keep climbing

Keep the faith,

babyIt's all about,

it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

relatives and friends gathering=)

macam ar..

happy family and friend..

happy weekend.. i had spend my time with my lovely brother, cousins and friends during this weekend.. we have done a lot of activities. especially yesterday we went to TIME SQUARE THEME PARK. huiyo... syoiknya.. we sat the roller coaters for a few times. it looks scary but it doesnt. i didnt even shout or scream like POOI MUN.. haha..she vormited a few times and she shouted so loud.. unfortunately the today i am sick terriblely but pooi mun was okay.. what a joke. haha..

finally i am awake..

finally i m awake.. today will be the first day i start my journey to forget my past..

i will learn to appreciate what i have now! i will learn from my mistake. please do trust friends cause friends wont have the intention to make u sad. i m sorry for those i didnt trust them. i should have trust u all, so that these wont happen. but dun worry friend, i have learn from my mistake.. i love you guys.. i will enchance myself to be a better person. i will be FAMOUS one day.. i wont let the chance find me but i will find them.. i will make it through the pain.. stop wasting time crying but lift up ur spirit and MOVE ON!! you can do it ELAINE!!

i m not okay act..

these few days i m tired of hiding myself from the truth.. i m not okay act.

i just cant take things easy.. i just cant accept that it is the end.. but i need to face it..

i got lots of things to do.. i always make myself busy to avoid thinking the fact. but somehow before my bed and after my bed, i will automatic think bout it again.. arghh i hate it..

how can i have a sincere smile anymore? where is the cheerful and happy elaine?

Happy Friends

happy friends. now i only realise actually there are a lot of true friends around me.

thx for everyone's care and love.. especially to carmen who cook mee for me=) puimun for sharing her bed with me, grace who fetch me, pikachu who wrote a encourage note for me, boh chun who scold me all the time=P, alvin who cook herbal tea for me, tan tan, san san, sky and ying hui who support me and call me princess all the time..HAHA.. chacha, anderson my rap gang. lots of lots of friends.. anderson who let me punch and slap..wakaka.. i love you guys!! muaxxiee..

so many wonderful things happen these days.. today 988 came to utar, haha.. i get to join their activities and won a lot of prizes.. hahaha.. FUN! after class we went to BBQ chicken for dinner.. having lots of fun there.. p/s : tan tan is 31 ar!! hahaha... so funny.. thx for building the happy memories with me.. love you friends..

full stop.

finally a full stop is being placed in the relationship.

everything has come to an end.

although its hard to let go. but its not impossible to do so.

unless i try BUT i had tried many times and failed many times.

i m tired of trying. GOSH...

傻瓜我们都一样，被爱情伤了又伤。相信这个他不一样，却又再以次受伤。

nice song that concieve my feeling..

Happy Go Lucky=)

guess what peeps... today my mass comm midterm essay came out the topic that i presented
yesterday.. this time really happy go lucky le.. hahaha.. uses and gratification!! i love it.. hahaha.. but one bad news is act i dunno what i presented yesterday.. everything was just copy and paste
hahaha.. but still manage to tembak gua..

presentation=S

haha.. finally i fin my mass media presentation. gosh.. everything was just so last min..

luckily i manage to fin it.. haha... well, nth to say much here. i am having my mass comm exam tomolo.. arghh.. midterm AGAIN! assignments are driving me crazy. i dun und why i seem have not enough time to settle all my things? can i just stop the time now wait till i settle all my stuff..

owhhh.. i miss you=(

S.I.C.K

just like me n u.. i miss you

i am sick physically and mentally..

i m sick of my life.. uhhh... exam sucks...

so many sucks in my life..

my stupid specs is ruin my life....

i dun even know what i crap for my mass media test..

ouch.. i m going to fail!!

omg omg... i m havin flu now i hope that its not swine flu..

i m having back pain..

arghh.. everyone can enjoy now but me..

i am having my MASS MEDIA PRESENTATION

next tuesday n i not yet even start..

SHIT!! i miss you baby..

where are u?

i am waiting for you=(

test tomoolo.....

in this world, there are full of challenges... exams are part of the challenges. once you overcome it, there will be rainbow in your life but if you cant make it, dont give up at least you had tried..
i wanna aim to get at least 3.0 this sem if i cant do it.........
its okay=) haha.. at least i had tried... cheh... happy to you in my life.. now i can see u more often.. you coloured my life will rainbow colours... hehee love you=)

back to the world..

nice pencil box huh?

this weekend i m so relax.. all my worries and stress are away... but now sad case la.. all come back adi.. i need to face back the reality.. eleh.. btw i am waiting for jeslyn's BUKU CATATAN.. haha.. if she cant give me by this weekend she gotta lick my feet.. yuckss... i started to miss you guys badly.. i miss careena.. dominance.. damien.. my new friend ling chee kang.. hahaha. he is a funny and good guy.. careena...i will support u in what you wanna do.. yea!! HMM... btw.. ya. i forget to mention.. me n kamlan n someone watched DRAG ME TO HELL last week.. hahaha.. nice movie.. i m scared of granny after watching that movie.. omgosh.. i m having 2 tests and one presentation and test next week.. shxt so many things to do la.. k la.. gotta save time.. chiaoozzz..bb..GBU..JLU..

HURT..

i am hurt, i am sad by people around me. i just wanna make things clear here. though i seldom find u guys but you all are always in my heart. i do cherish everyone of you. especially those i always think about and msg them. even though we may study in diff places but i am still here for you to care bout you. i know your life is difficult now, my life are too.. everyone has their own difficulties. though i look okay outside but deep down in my heart i feel like dying, there are just so grudges and sadness inside my heart. i feel like screaming.. i wanna release all these. who will be there for me when i need someone? i didnt change and i never change.. i am still the same elaine that always there to concern bout you guys.. when i know that you guys facing problems do you think i will be happy too? i am just acting like ntgs going on and be cheerful so that you guys may feel better. sometimes the way you all comment bout me is too harsh for me. but face the fact, even clowns have their own emotional. and mine is easily influences. please do think of my feeling. i am a human being too.. stop forcing me to be someone i hate.. i m going to burst soon..

GOSH..

....GOSH...

MIDTERM TESTS ARE AROUND THE CORNER.

AND YET I NOT YET START MY REVISION..

OMG... ASSIGNMENTS AND EXAMS...

though i have wasted one of my weekend again,

i am happy=)

we went JAMING... guess what.. I PLAYED DRUM!!! (but cacat wan)

hahahaha... recently i am busy droping down my kamlan's buku catatan..

hahaha... she owes me alot man!! haha..

of course i owe her alot too.. haha.. i am glad to have her as a kamlan..

we just sign a kamlan cert.. which will last forever..

wakakakaka.... she cant avoid me adi... she need to face me forever.. yuppiee...

currently i miss someone soooo muchie... how i wish i can be the one now..

owhhh... if i can hug the one now.. how i wish the time will stop forever...

T.T i miss my home too.. this weekend i m going HOME!! yippie

oh gosh.. i had grown fatter.. hope my parents do not realise it la..

hahaha if not KENA again... ALRIGHT.. gtg.. tata..

need to do lots of planning

soon i will be like this...

GOSH!!! there are still many things not yet be done, some not yet even started..

OMG... so many things to do in degree.. so fast now we are entering week 6 adi.. week 7 we will have test... OMG OMG!!! is like so many assignments need to pass up soon.. better start to move now!!! must increase my speed adi.. soon i will commit suicide la... aiyor.. so many things to do... help la... need to manage lo....

eMOlaine

totally expressing how am i feeling right now...

emo! emo! emo!

why could these things happen to me?

am i the one who changed or is my surrounding has been changed?

why ppl act so strange lately?

why so many uncertainty happen lately?

aikss.. who can answer me?

arghhhh...

.

Busy Life

took photo with Anthony..

today i am very tired.. haha.. but i am happy, because i just came back from the CHC cell group..

its quite fun to join them, we have fellowships and stuff.. NICE! well, i m kinda busy now. therefore i cant write that much now.. CUT SHORT..

today.tired.fun.happy.haha.done=)

S.T.D

Stress.Tired.Depressed

this is how i feel these days.

so many assignments waiting for me to hang up..

mountain high of books are waiting for me to study..

OMG!!! can i have some break?

dunno what to say anymore..

just wish all my friends

have a happy day and may our dear LORD bless them..

i need HELP!!!

i miss Kampar a lot!!! how i wish i can go back to those days and have fun with u guys again..

i miss my dearest, how i wish i can go back kampar.

today i feel ambarrased, because i FELL DOWN ON THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!! ouchhh...

everyone is looking at me.. and paul shouted " OMG!! ELAINE!! WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU!!"

hahaha.. it is pain but its funny too.. cant imagine that just happen.. the FUNNIEST JOKE..

hahaha..

dunno why? today i have a very very low self-esteem, by saying myself ugly.. i am not saying

myself good looking bt i believe i m not that ugly as i thought. somehow.. i really turn ugly

compared to last time because pimples are growing rapidly these days.. ARGHHH.. how i wish i

can take a break.. and charge my body battery.. but well, life still needs to go on.. therefore i had

no choice but just cont with my hectic lifestyle lo... hope to see my kampar friend soon and my

dearest soon... happy day=) XOXO to my dearest..

we are WILD!! hahaha...

jeslyn fainted on the floor... i m so worried..

HAHA... WE SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.. luckily no car..

this weekend is the most happiest weekend i ever had.. HAHA.. me and my couple of best friends did a lot of wild things.. especially me and jeslyn (KAMLAN) haha.. we sleep on the street in the middle of the night. we jump down to the pool with our house clothes at 1am. we wash soon yew's car (daddy's day present) together and jeslyn's car too.. we 7 ppl eat 11 durians.. 711.. HAHA.. too bad someone of you cant make it, i m sure it will be more fun if you guys were there.. haha.. oh ya.. we still have singing and video shooting section.. hahaha.. lots of lots of FUN and WILD stuff men.. haha i love you jeslyn.. you are the best KAM LAN i ever had.. LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH.. we are one family..


MISSION: meet needs, touch lives, win souls..

my first blog [STRESS]

HIDE MYSELF FROM THE TRUTH...


i feel like i am staying in a world that full with lies.. even me myself are lying to myself.

to make myself comfartable, i always lie to myself. i know that i m in the wrong track and yet and i dun dare to face it but just give lots of EXCUSES and put HOPE in it.. what should i do?

i dont have the gut to face it. anyone can help me? no one can help me only me myself can help myself.



words that full with lie seem to appear in my life often, the only thing i can do is just believe it, in order to make myself better. i wanna be loved, i wanna be known. but will this stays forever? or its just a temporary fun like drugs...... soon everything will fade away.. and left a girl with an empty heart....