i hate the world!!

how i wish 2012 is now! i wanna go heaven as soon as possible.. i dun like this..

why? why? why? why? yes.. i look strong outside but i have a weak heart, just one touch and it will break into pieces. why? yes.. i like to act but doesnt mean i m a liar. yes. i like to joke but doesnt mean i m childish. yea. i like to laugh but doesnt mean that i m okay with everything. i hate wearing mask... why?. why? why cant u guys treat me better? am i really that bad? do u guys know me well? i hate gossips!! being self centered, pride, gossips bring u no where but DEATH!!!

i am tired.. who am i to u all? who am i? who am i? i hate myself for being a clown.

I'M BACK!!

emo jer...

me and my (MAID) dana.. haha

yo ipoh mali ipoh ipoh mali.

ladies and gentlemen... i am BACK!! phew...

there are thousands and millions things need to express from my heart.

FIRST.. busy busy busy but now free..

i am kind of busy this sem cause its short sem but i m kind of free too..

gosh... what am i talking? haha.. what i mean is i m busy when i m very busy.

i am free when i m very free. =.=

SECOND.. Friend + Family= LOVE

yea.. finally i am awake.. nothing is more important than family and friends.

i found that i am tired with couple love or get in a relationship.

because it is complicated and stress.

haha where u let someone to control over you bla bla bla..

come on, who says u only can get love from couple..

well, i think i m blessed because i have a bunch of friends and lovely family

to give me love. although i have bitterness in my past but i think God plant joy and hope in

my heart.. soon i will have a big family in my house.

yes!! we will cook, lepak, study together..

THIRD.. JESUS I LOVE YOU

well, i m kinda guilty because i m not attending church for almost 2 months.

nor pray or read the bible.. i m totally out of my Christian life.. but i know that

God is still with me and blessed me and i love Him too.. i promise i will get back to him soon.. muacckss.. XOXO

_THE END_

going back to PJ.

i am sorry for being emo these days.. i know some of you do care bout me.. thanks a lot.. you guys do cheer me up sometimes.. i think i am the one who causing myself to be like this, because i cant find the way to express my true self.. i am used to be alone in the olden days.. i m glad to see Ruth comment.. thanks girl.. you are so sweet.. i love you too.. well, all i can say is everyone has their own problem.. no matter how life still needs to go on.. so do i.. i m still trying and struggling to find a way to express myself.. haizz... it takes so long..

finally today i get my result.. well, is not that good and not that bad.. kinda average.. of course i would to get a higher mark, but i had done my best.. so thank God too, for blessing me.. i would to thanks all my assignment course mate.. without their hard work i wont get such a good result.. thanks guys... love you all... well.. all i need is just some time i guess.. kinda tired to communicate here.. aikss.. elaine ar elaine~~

you care?

anyone of you care how i feel? what i am doing? whats my problem recently? am i healthy?

or all of you are busy with your own issue.. how you feel, what problems are you facing, how sad are you and so on.. anyone of you take the initiative to concern bout me? to pick me up when i am down, to set me free when i am struggling, to stand on my side.. mostly my daily routine is to.. help this to solve problem.. help that to do their orders.. get judge by them.. i m sorry.. i am trying to be patience but i really cant stand it anymore.. some of you may think that i am seeking attention.. because in your eyes i am always an attention seeker.. i have changed but no one notice.. can anyone of you stand on my side and think for me.. things that is best for you doesnt mean its going to be best for me..i have my own way, but did i get a chance to do it my way? i am losing my confident.. you guys do not help me to be cleared for what i want but causing me to be lost and confused.. first..... i loose my confident... second i don't know what i want, third i have lost myself.. and now i don't know who i am.. sometimes.. i prefer to stay in a room ALONE.. rather than going out and social.. when there is only me alone.. i found the freedom.. i am stressed to be someone's yeeling.. i want to be my own yeeling.. i miss you yeeling.. my soul, please come back to me... dont leave me hanging in the dead city... i m dead.... yea.. i am smiling but deep down i am bleeding..

my inspiration..

十分爱我你曾经说过，

可是现在你却不爱我，

爱我其实是否你的错。

说过会陪我渡过生活，

可是你却忍心丢下我，

孤独一人在寂寞角落，

还叫我别难过。

going back to IPOH..

hurayyyy!!! tomorrow i am going back to ipoh, the place where i belong..

i m going to celebrate my mum's birthday... arghhh.. October.. the month that both of my parents birthday.. haha.. i would like to announce i am BROKE!! haha.. i dunno how and when i spend all my my money.. OMG!! i need money... aikss.. i m kinda confused and lost these days.. i dunno what i want.. there is something missing but.. i dunno what is it.. arghh.. my dad had moved to kl.. and we spend almost everyday during the week.. driving around pj kl bangsar and so on.. haha.. i miss all my dearest friends.. i feel kinda lonely when its night.. nobody is here for me.. i am all home alone..

ish.... watch all sort of drama series and so on.. i m taking my muet test next next week.. i hope that i can manage to pass this.... hmmmmm...........

sem break!!

yea~~~ sem break!! i should be happy for sem break but i dont...

i feel sad and boring.. i don't like sem break.. i m lost during sem break. dunno what to do..

life is so boring.. i miss all my hotel kaki.. i miss all my friends.. owhhhh... i miss soo many things.. and guess what i am going to learn BAHASA TAMIL in sem 2!! uh hu~~ i am true Malaysian.. haha.. i m used to my busy life and sud i become so free.. arghh not used to it.. i miss my kam lan the most.. so many things to tell her... i miss everyone of you.. somebody call 911.. i m so boring.. come on!! Daddy's birthday is coming soon....

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY~