whats life?

life is full of challenges,
in our life we will face a lot problems
and difficulties, life never been easy for us.
we need to overcome a lot things, sometimes we will ask God
why does our problems never come to an end?

when i look back to my life,
at first i found happiness and protection,
but once i stepped into the reality,
slowly i learn bitter and insecurity.

sometimes you just wish,
wish that someone will come into your life
and helped at least understand you
someone who manage to protect you and give you hope.
i know i know, we should seek God,
but sometimes things just don't end up that easy

maybe its true that i no longer end up with faith,
well, its all because this world is getting more horrible and scary
sometimes i just wish to have a comfort zone for me stay comfort and away
from all these.

my heart is yelling for help,
many pass by but does not help.
where? who? is the one who going to take me away from
the bitterness. anyone can wash away my scars?

back

hey peeps, i am back to blogspot.
well, recently is been a busy semester for me.
phew. so many things to do in a short time.
assignments, activities and so on. cant even catch my breath.
i have lots of good news and also bad news.
good news are, finally i have an air con for my room. and i have a lovely roomate aran=) love her so much. well, i enjoyed staying here with my gang of crazy friends. i bought a new lap top, mobile phone within a month. wow! but i m not as rich as you thought k.
though i get satisfied by all the gadgets and stuff i had, there is something missing in my life,
that is i need a person to give me security and love. which i am still searching in the moment.
i feel lonely and upset in my heart. wondering why is it take so long for someone to enter my life.
most of my friends found theirs and i am happy for them. deep down, i feel depressed. well, face the fact that no matter how strong i look, i still need someone to support me. i am now far away from home, and i miss them too. hmm.... i really dono how to go on. well, wish me luck for everything. there is some much to tell in my heart. but i dun feel like saying it out. so.. just wish me luck and keep me in prayer. God Bless. <3

2010

不知不觉已经是新的一年。

坐在椅上的我一个人寻找当年的回忆，

2009 是个平淡的一年但却带点复杂

一直以来注重别人如何看待的我刚发现自己却忽略了自己的心情。

我是否太好人了？直到忘了自己的存在。

迷惘的我不知该如何走下一步，

人人都说新的一年该有新的开始，

可是这有我的份吗？

一直都用尽办法去了解别人的难处的我得到了什么？

别人有用心的了解你吗？不是一样误会被谁都多。

一次又一次的被失望，做人真累。

被爱情伤害一次比一次深，

友情一次比一次伤感，

家人距离越来越遥远，

金钱花了去哪儿？

自己去背叛了自己的学业。

为了得到利益却伤害了自己的自尊，

有时想想我有自尊吗？

被人讽刺被人拿来开玩笑时，

却没帮自己生气而是在那傻笑和默默同意，

我还是原本的我吗？

原本的我已和现在的我有了遥远的距离。

忘了自我。。 2010 谁来救我？

i hate the world!!

how i wish 2012 is now! i wanna go heaven as soon as possible.. i dun like this..

why? why? why? why? yes.. i look strong outside but i have a weak heart, just one touch and it will break into pieces. why? yes.. i like to act but doesnt mean i m a liar. yes. i like to joke but doesnt mean i m childish. yea. i like to laugh but doesnt mean that i m okay with everything. i hate wearing mask... why?. why? why cant u guys treat me better? am i really that bad? do u guys know me well? i hate gossips!! being self centered, pride, gossips bring u no where but DEATH!!!

i am tired.. who am i to u all? who am i? who am i? i hate myself for being a clown.

I'M BACK!!

emo jer...

me and my (MAID) dana.. haha

yo ipoh mali ipoh ipoh mali.

ladies and gentlemen... i am BACK!! phew...

there are thousands and millions things need to express from my heart.

FIRST.. busy busy busy but now free..

i am kind of busy this sem cause its short sem but i m kind of free too..

gosh... what am i talking? haha.. what i mean is i m busy when i m very busy.

i am free when i m very free. =.=

SECOND.. Friend + Family= LOVE

yea.. finally i am awake.. nothing is more important than family and friends.

i found that i am tired with couple love or get in a relationship.

because it is complicated and stress.

haha where u let someone to control over you bla bla bla..

come on, who says u only can get love from couple..

well, i think i m blessed because i have a bunch of friends and lovely family

to give me love. although i have bitterness in my past but i think God plant joy and hope in

my heart.. soon i will have a big family in my house.

yes!! we will cook, lepak, study together..

THIRD.. JESUS I LOVE YOU

well, i m kinda guilty because i m not attending church for almost 2 months.

nor pray or read the bible.. i m totally out of my Christian life.. but i know that

God is still with me and blessed me and i love Him too.. i promise i will get back to him soon.. muacckss.. XOXO

_THE END_

going back to PJ.

i am sorry for being emo these days.. i know some of you do care bout me.. thanks a lot.. you guys do cheer me up sometimes.. i think i am the one who causing myself to be like this, because i cant find the way to express my true self.. i am used to be alone in the olden days.. i m glad to see Ruth comment.. thanks girl.. you are so sweet.. i love you too.. well, all i can say is everyone has their own problem.. no matter how life still needs to go on.. so do i.. i m still trying and struggling to find a way to express myself.. haizz... it takes so long..

finally today i get my result.. well, is not that good and not that bad.. kinda average.. of course i would to get a higher mark, but i had done my best.. so thank God too, for blessing me.. i would to thanks all my assignment course mate.. without their hard work i wont get such a good result.. thanks guys... love you all... well.. all i need is just some time i guess.. kinda tired to communicate here.. aikss.. elaine ar elaine~~